Oh god, I get a feeling this is the start of a very long post.
Being positive 24/7 just isn’t realistic. No one can be happy 24/7.
Think about it, even the most beautiful, richest people of the world are sometimes negative. It’s a part of being human and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.
I mean, if we didn’t sometimes feel negative, would feeling positive even be all that great? Or would it just be the norm? Maybe there wouldn’t be “positive” or “negative”. Emotions just wouldn’t be emotions.
Last year I was made redundant from my previous full-time job & boy did it hit me hard. I fell into a downward spiral of depression & extreme anxiety. My previous mental issues were weighing down on me harder than ever & the recent changes to my financial situation weren’t helping.
I didn’t know where to turn. I was lost.
Sure, I had the love & support of the people around me (to which I am forever grateful) but sometimes it just isn’t enough. Sometimes having someone else try and help you remain positive only makes you feel less positive. Makes no sense right…
Well, if you’ve ever been in the same position as me, you’ll understand. You’ll know that remaining positive through the tough times is so damn hard.
So, after much thought & serious reflections on my emotions, I ended up biting the bullet & going to seek help. I learnt so much over the next 6 months. Delving deeper into my mental health, discovering what truly made me happy & removing toxic emotions [and people] from my life.
I honestly cannot put into words just how far I’ve come since last year. Having learnt so much about the human body, about the brain and how emotions work, my outlook on life is so drastically different to what it once was.
Understanding your emotions is something I believe everyone needs to at least try and do.
Nowadays, we live in a world where negativity is the norm.
Everyone is too busy, too tired or too broke to do anything. We’re all too focused on the negatives to even get a glimpse of the positives in our lives. And it’s just not right.
Why is everyone so focused on caring about what others think rather than focusing on their own happiness? Why are we always looking for something new to love rather than appreciating what we already have?
There are so many things you can do to improve your happiness & some of them take little-to-no effort at all. And did I mention they don’t cost a cent?!
If you read this post, you’d know that practising self-care is one of the best ways to boost positivity. Taking time out to appreciate the little things and to simply look after yourself.
And, did you know that getting a good night’s sleep can improve how you perceive information? That’s right! Studies have actually shown that without a good night’s sleep, you’re more likely to retain negative information & thoughts over the positives.
So, basically, the better you sleep, the more positive you’ll feel. WOW, SCIENCE.
No one else’s happiness should come before yours. Ever.
Focusing too hard on making sure that everyone else is happy & pushing your own happiness to the side is one way to become depressed. You’ll become so enveloped in their life that you’ll forget about the most important thing, your life.
Avoid putting others before you all the time. Sure, it’s absolutely fine to want to help others & make them feel happy, but if you’re not happy within yourself, then you’re really not going to help them at all, are you?
I learnt this the hard way a few years back; Working my ass off in a job I hated to try and prove to god knows who that I was a do-er. That I could do what no one else could in half the time that they’d expected of me.
Where did I end up? Being physically sick every morning before I started work & having breakdowns on my lunch breaks.
I was too focused on keeping everyone else happy, rather than myself.
Nowadays, I’m in a far better place, both mentally and emotionally. I’ve removed toxic people from my life, avoid negativity [as much as I can] & now have a stronger focus on my own happiness more than ever.
Of course, I still have my moments of self-doubt & worry. But, during the last year I’ve started to practise one simple trick that actually works.
Every day, I force myself to do one thing I love.
I say “force” because some days doing something I love actually feels like a chore. Weird huh.
The idea is that if I make sure every day I’m doing something that I, Elley, me, loves then I have had a successful day. It doesn’t matter if it’s something as small as painting my nails or doing a face mask – I make sure it’s something I enjoy.
Doing this every day has helped me see a new light & helped me remain positive, even through the negativity that can sometimes surround me.
So you see, the first step to creating a happier life is to focus on your happiness.
Cut out the toxic people in your life, live in the moment & do whatever the hell you want to do.
No one else can dictate what you do or how you do it, only you. And if they do try & dictate your life, tell them very politely that their “advice” is unwanted. When all else fails, remove that person from your life.
Someone else amazing is out there busting to be friends with someone as smart, beautiful & talented as you. You just haven’t met them yet.