I love sharing lessons from my journey with you beautiful people, and I’m so excited because today I get to do just that! 

In this episode, I’m talking all about what it means to be a “good coach”. Specifically, I’m going to share 6 of the main lessons that I’ve learned on my journey from being a service provider to a coach. It’s going to be a peek behind the scenes into my mind to reflect on some of the perspective shifts, breakthroughs and “aha!” moments I’ve had. 

There’s so much pressure that we can place on ourselves to be what we think is a “good coach”. My aim is for you to soak these lessons up and just give yourself permission to take some of that pressure off. When you finish this episode, I want you to walk away with a brand new understanding of what it really means to be a good coach!

 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How to smash the misconceptions about what being a “good coach” means
  • Why it’s so important to give your permission to take the pressure off
  • Reframing your thinking when it comes to serving your clients
  • The 6 key lessons I learned about being a “good coach”

 

Tune in to the episode here:

🎙 Listen on iTunes – elleymae.com/itunes
🎙 Listen on Spotify – elleymae.com/spotify
🎙 Listen on iHeartRadio – elleymae.com/iheartradio

 

Boundaries Queen with Elley Mae

 

The Episode Breakdown:

Some of you may know that I haven’t always been a coach – I used to be a service provider. I was a social media manager and brand photographer before transitioning into coaching in early 2019. And let me tell you, I have learned plenty of lessons along the way about what it means to be a “good coach”. 

Today, I wanted to talk about the 6 main lessons that I’ve learned in my coaching journey that will help to take off some of the pressure that you might be putting on yourself to be a “good coach”. 

I’m so excited to reflect on these lessons and share some of the perspective shifts and breakthroughs that I’ve had, so let’s dive in! 

 

Lesson 1: In order to be a good coach, you don’t have to know all the answers. 

Put your hand up if you’ve ever thought that you needed to know all the answers to every question your client ever asks in order to be deemed a good coach. 

My hand is up. 

I used to be this person. I used to believe that in order for my clients to think I was a good coach and to see me as worthy of being paid money, I had to know everything. 

The reality is that you don’t have to know all the answers.

Yes, you need to be in integrity with what you teach, because you can’t teach something if you haven’t learned it and embodied it – but if you’re teaching from your own experiences of going through something and coming out the other side, then it’s okay to not know everything about every single detail within it. 

A good example is business coaching. I’m a business coach – does that mean that I know everything there is to know about everything to do with business? Hell no. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a good coach. 

Stop putting pressure on yourself by thinking that you have to know all the answers to be a good coach, because the reality is that you don’t. 

Here’s what you *can* do when you don’t know the answer – you can look into it and find out the answer, or you can refer your clients on to someone who does. We all have our zone of genius, and if it’s not yours then you can pass them on to people or resources that are in that zone. 

When you do this, you’re still in integrity. You’re still there to give them the support that you can with the experience that you have. 

 

Lesson 2: In order to be a good coach, you don’t have to be available 24/7.

We actually talked about this topic in the last episode, and that it’s okay to have boundaries and still serve your clients. 

It’s important to have boundaries around when you’re available and how you communicate with your clients. For example, I do coaching calls with my clients every second week and they have unlimited access to me in WhatsApp Monday through Friday where I will always respond within 24 hours unless I’m sick, it’s a public holiday or it’s a weekend. 

In fact, when we are too available for our clients, it can create codependency – and that’s a bad thing for both you and your clients. It does your clients a disservice because all of a sudden, they can’t make decisions for themselves without you. They’re so dependent on having you there that when you aren’t, it’s freakout time. 

Just know that in order to be a good coach, you get to have beautiful, amazing boundaries. You get to choose when your calls are, you get to choose how often you reply to clients and you get to choose how you communicate – a.k.a. boundaries. 

There are ways to set boundaries that don’t feel b*tchy, don’t feel mean, and are kind but firm, so that the person on the other end receives the boundary, accepts the boundary and respects the boundary. 

We dive into exactly this in my upcoming workshop, Boundaries Queen. If you are someone who wants to implement boundaries without feeling (or sounding) like a b*tch, then this is for you. The live workshop is happening on 6 June 2021 and you get access to this, the pop-up Facebook group and lifetime access to the replay. Not only that, I have a secret sneaky little bonus gift for you guys, so if you want to know more, come join us! 

 

Lesson 3: In order to be a good coach, you don’t have to take on a lot of clients. 

There’s this common misconception that in order to be a good coach, you need to have this fully booked coaching roster with heaps of 1:1 clients and huge group programs with 50-100 people. 

You can do that if that’s what you truly desire, but it doesn’t make you any less of a good coach if you just want to work with a small, intimate group of clients. 

I have a maximum of 3-5 clients in my 1:1 coaching and 5-10 in my Mastermind. I actually find that taking on less clients allows me to have a bigger impact in my business, in my clients’ lives and in my clients’ businesses. I don’t think I would have the connection that I have with my clients if I had more clients. I love that I get to be in my client’s lives and that I get to support them through their businesses, lives and everything that we’re talking about today. 

If you want to take on a smaller number of clients, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t a good coach. The same thing goes the other way around too – if you want to take on a lot of clients, you can still be a good coach. There are amazing coaches out there who are still super present in their clients lives and *do* take on more 1:1 clients at a time. 

You get to choose what aligns for you, but it doesn’t matter how many clients you bring on – you still get to be an amazing coach. 

 

Lesson 4: In order to be a good coach, you don’t have to feel responsible for getting your clients results. 

This one is such a big topic that I think it deserves an episode of its own. 

No matter what you do, how much you give to your clients or how often you show up for them, you can’t be responsible for your clients getting results. There are far too many factors that go into it – mindset, strategy, what they’re implementing, what they’re not implementing, time, skill sets and so much more. 

And let’s be real – your soulmate dream clients don’t think that you’re responsible for your results. 

When I think back on my coaching journey, I remember how it felt to transition from being a service provider to a coach. As a service provider of social media management, I would deliver a final product to a client, e.g. hashtags, captions or scheduling a post. When I started coaching, I went from delivering a final, tangible product to *me* being the product. Suddenly, the experience of working with me was the product. 

It was a huge journey to learn that I can’t be responsible for my clients’ results because I don’t know what they’re going to implement, if they’re going to do the work, what’s going on in their life or where their energy is at every second of every day. Even if I do, I still can’t change it. No one can change anyone other than ourselves. 

Think about this – if you have a coach right now, would you ever make them feel responsible for getting your results? 

I doubt it. 

If you wouldn’t put that pressure on *your* coach, why do you think that people are going to put that pressure on you? 

 

Lesson 5: In order to be a good coach, you don’t need to be professional or put-together. 

You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need to have a perfect Instagram aesthetic.
You don’t need to pretend you’re something that you’re not.
You don’t need to hold yourself to perfectionism – a.k.a. unrealistic expectations. 

If you swear, then swear. If you joke around, then joke around. If you’re sarcastic with your humour, then be sarcastic with your humour. If you don’t know the answer, then say you don’t know the answer. 

Be a human being. People are magnetised to the real you, not the filtered, perfect, or put-together you. Your clients want the real you. 

There’s this interesting thing that can happen with this. A lot of people will show up as their totally authentic selves online, but when they bring on a client, suddenly it feels like the pressure’s on and now they need to be way more professional because this client is paying them. Now money’s involved, everything’s changed. 

That is so backwards. 

Early on in my coaching business, I used to do this too. I remember I was showing up as this badass b*tch who had just quit her job and gone full-time, was having $10k months, killing it, loving life and having so much time freedom. I showed up as that version of me, because that was me. People were magnetised to me being so authentic and clients were signing up out of nowhere. But the second that someone said, “I’m in” and paid me, I suddenly felt like I needed to make sure this person got their money’s worth and enjoyed working with me. I thought that meant that I had to change who I was because there was money involved. 

Those clients didn’t choose to work with me because they thought that I was going to change after that. They chose me for me. It doesn’t matter that money is involved, people still want to work with the real me. 

The same is true for you. If you’re one of those people who shows up authentically online but think you need to change who you are the second that there’s money involved – you don’t. 

Your clients chose you for you, not for some fairytale person that you’re not. 

Give them what they paid for, which is the real you. 

 

Lesson 6: In order to be a good coach, you must have boundaries. 

Even when your job is literally to support other people, you still come first. 

You cannot give to your clients if you aren’t taking care of yourself. 

You cannot give from an empty cup. Let’s say you have an empty cup in front of you now (in fact, maybe you do). How are you meant to pour into someone else’s cup if there’s nothing left in it? You can’t. You have to go to the kitchen, crack open the next drink and pour that cup up for yourself first before you can overflow into others.

Boundaries are good, they serve us and our clients. Have boundaries with your calls, your communication, with late payments, when a client wants to reschedule at the last minute, when someone doesn’t show up for a call – have boundaries with all of it. Gone are the days where you need to think that having a boundary in place is b*tchy, rude or selfish. 

In order to be a good coach, it’s not about being available 24/7, knowing all the answers or being something you’re not. It’s about prioritising you and understanding that when you give to yourself, you give to others

 

If you’re itching to learn more about how to take care of yourself to create an incredible client experience and set boundaries, then I have 2 workshops that you are going to love. 

 

Unforgettable is all about how to create an unforgettable client experience where your clients are loving it and getting the transformation and experience that they deserve, but you aren’t burning out or feeling like you have to be something you’re not. What’s not to love? So get onto it – it’s so freaking good. 

 

As I mentioned earlier, you can learn more about boundaries and get my support with my workshop Boundaries Queen! In this workshop, I’ll be taking you through mindset, energy and tangible action steps when it comes to implementing a boundary. We’ll be talking about how to know when you need to implement a boundary and what to say so that both you and the person on the other end feel good about it. 

We’ll be going through all the boundaries I’ve mentioned here and so much more for less than $100! It’s going to be such a vibe so make sure you come join us!

 

 

 


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