A lot of people don’t realise just how healthy and incredible boundaries are – not just for us, but for the people around us too. But let’s be honest, even when you KNOW that boundaries are healthy and helpful, it can be hard to set them in place.
Today, that’s where I come in. I’ve been called the Boundaries Queen because I have such strong boundaries in literally all aspects of my business and life. Take it from me – boundaries can change EVERYTHING.
In this episode, I share the 3 biggest client boundaries that I’ve had to navigate in my own business and how they transformed things for me – and not just for me, these are the 3 most common boundaries that I help my clients to put in place as well.
I’m taking you behind the scenes in my business to give you some really honest and transparent examples of what setting boundaries has meant for me and to pass on these lessons so that you can grow and show other people what’s possible for them too!
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How to use boundaries to attract your dream clients
- That boundaries don’t hurt your clients – in fact, they empower them!
- How a lack of boundaries can impact your life AND hinder your business
- The 3 most common client boundaries and how you can implement them
Tune in to the episode here:
🎙 Listen on iTunes – elleymae.com/itunes
🎙 Listen on Spotify – elleymae.com/spotify
🎙 Listen on iHeartRadio – elleymae.com/iheartradio
The Episode Breakdown:
In the last week, literally, 3 people have called me the queen of boundaries. Why is that? Because I have such strong boundaries – in my business and my life and in the people, conversations and energy that I allow in. I’ve talked about boundaries many times here before to explain why they’re so important and why they’re actually a good thing. A lot of people don’t always realise how healthy and beneficial boundaries are – not just for us, but for the people on the other end of the boundary as well.
Today, I want to share 3 of the biggest client boundaries that I have had to navigate in my own business, but are also the most common boundaries that I help my clients to put in place. Whether you’re a coach or service provider, this is going to help you to understand boundaries better, as well as understanding how I set boundaries.
If this feels like just the beginning for your journey with boundaries and you want to dive right into learning more about setting boundaries with me, then make sure you read to the end to find out more about my new program, Boundaries Queen!
Boundary #1: Staying confident when people question your prices
The first one is probably the most common one of them all and it’s probably one of the first ones that people come up against when they start their businesses. It’s when potential clients who aren’t working with you yet, start asking for discounts or telling you that you’re too expensive.
Maybe some of this sounds familiar…
“I really want to work with you, but is there any chance you could do it for a lower price?”
“You’re way too expensive, I would never pay that!”
How do you address that?
Firstly, let me just say that I used to get this a lot. It can come from potential clients or even family and friends who have no idea about the value of your services or coaching. As I went on this journey of building self-confidence and self-trust, I realised that the reason why I attracted those situations so often is because *I* wasn’t confident in my prices and I wasn’t fully backing myself.
If you have a sh*tload of people telling you that they can’t afford it, that you’re too expensive and asking for discounts, then here’s what you truly need to do.
You don’t need to change your price. You don’t need to give them a discount.
What you need to do is be confident in charging your rates. You need to fully back your prices and be confident in your prices. You need to understand and know for a fact that there are people out there who will pay what you’re charging to work with you.
For every person who says they can’t afford it, there’s someone who can.
For every person who asks for a discount, there’s someone else who’s ready to pay in full.
For every person who thinks it’s too expensive, there’s someone who thinks it’s an absolute bargain.
Too often, clients will come to me saying, “Someone just said I’m too expensive, am I actually charging too much? What do you think?”
What do YOU think?
If *you* don’t think that people will pay what you’re charging, then of course that’s what you’re going to attract. You need to know and trust that there are people who will pay what you’re charging.
Fully back yourself and fully back your prices. That in and of itself will start to reduce the amount of people who will reach out to you saying that it’s too expensive and they can’t afford it, and you’ll attract more people who are paying in full and not even mentioning the price.
You don’t need to change your prices, you don’t need to explain your prices and you don’t need to justify anything. That is not the vibe of an empowered confident CEO – and that’s what you are.
When someone asks for a discount, just say no. Respond politely and be kind but firm. Then, let it go and trust that there are people who will pay what you’re charging.
From time to time, there will be people who reach out saying that they really want to work with you but can’t afford it right now, and that’s okay. Again, you respond politely and let it go. That’s a boundary, and it’s okay to set that boundary. If those people really want to work with you, they’ll work out a way to get the money and then one day, when they can afford it, they’ll be so grateful that you didn’t push them into it.
Boundary #2: Coaching calls
I used to get on coaching calls at all hours of the day because I thought that’s what I had to do in order to be a good coach. I thought that because these people were paying lots of money to work with me, I needed to go above and beyond for them.
Don’t get me wrong – I do go above and beyond for my clients. But I used to think that meant I had to get up at 5am for a coaching call, do a call at dinner time or after dinner when I wanted to chill out and watch Masterchef or Netflix. I used to let my clients schedule coaching calls any day, any time, Monday through Friday – anytime you want, you let me know and I will make it happen.
My energy throughout the weeks was not great because my calls were all over the place. It was emotionally, physically and mentally tiring, and really stressful.
I will happily get up early or stay up late for calls with my own coach, but when *I’m* the coach and when I need to give my full energy, focus, attention and support to my clients, I just can’t do that at all hours of the day and night!
This comes up a lot especially when you have clients in different time zones – the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, the US. It’s hard to navigate that without burning yourself out.
I work with clients in all those places. Nowadays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are the only days that I do client calls. Since implementing that boundary, I’ve had no complaints from clients or clients asking to have a 6am or 10pm call, no matter where they’re from.
I truly believe that if your soulmate dream client wants to work with you, which they do, they will do whatever it takes to get on a call with you. They will understand that boundaries are important and healthy.
My clients love that I have boundaries because it shows them that *they* get to have boundaries. Then when they have boundaries, their clients get to see that it’s okay for them to have boundaries too.
Be the example and show your clients what’s possible.
I set boundaries with the days and the times that I took calls. My clients work within that and they love that because they get structure.
Your clients love you, they appreciate you, they respect you and they respect your boundaries – that’s what dream clients do.
BOUNDARIES QUEEN – Learn how to set boundaries in your business without feeling like (or sounding like) a b*tch! Click to join >> https://elleymae.com/boundariesqueen
Boundary #3: Communication
Earlier on in my business, I believed that I had to reply to clients the SECOND that they messaged me, no matter what I was doing or how I was feeling.
My first mistake: Having my notifications on.
If you have your client message notifications on, then do me a favour and go turn them off.
I would be getting notifications all day long. If I was busy and couldn’t reply then and there, I would look at my phone, see a message and start thinking that I’d better get back to that person. I then couldn’t fully focus on what I was doing because I had this client message in the back of my mind.
My second mistake: Creating codependent clients who couldn’t build self-confidence or make their own decisions without me – a.k.a empowered clients.
When I was replying to these people immediately, they got used to me replying immediately. That made them become codependent, where they weren’t feeling empowered in making decisions for themselves. Instead, they would message me and wait for me to tell them what to do. That doesn’t allow them to build self-confidence or self-trust. What happens is that at the end of the coaching container, they’re not going to know what to do or how to make decisions for themselves.
My goal for when clients finish working with me is that they feel more empowered than they ever have before and trust themselves more than they ever could have imagined. When I was replying all the time, I wasn’t allowing them to do that.
My third mistake: I was interrupting my day a bajillion times by replying to these messages.
Now, I love when my clients message me all day long. I thrive off replying to my clients and I appreciate having such a great relationship with them that we can talk all day, every day if we want to. But when I had no boundaries with replying to client messages, it didn’t matter what I was doing, whether it was having a nap, watching TV, eating dinner with family or having date night with my partner Jye – if the notification went off, I’d be there.
I want to be fully transparent and share an example – I remember being mid-conversation with Jye when a client messaged me in a panic over something. I started replying to this client and reading what she was saying, and just ignored everything Jye said. Even though he was in the middle of speaking, I felt like I had to get back to my client right now.
After that, I realised it was too much. From that moment, I decided that was never going to happen again. I was never going to allow myself to push that boundary that far where I was interrupting time with the people I love.
It’s a difficult example for me to think back on, but I want to share it because these are the things that I know so many people out there are doing because they feel like they have to in order to be a good coach or service provider.
Don’t create codependent clients and don’t feel like you have to respond to them 24/7. Your clients are grown-ass adults – they will wait and they will be okay.
Here’s the beauty of what can happen when you allow time for your clients to wait before you respond. In that timeframe between when they send a message and when you respond, they allow themselves time to process what’s going on, trust themselves, check-in with themselves and their intuition, and to think about the situation more.
For me, what sometimes happens is that a client will message me to ask for my feedback or guidance and when I go to respond, there’s another message from them – “Don’t worry about it, I figured it out. I made an empowered decision.”
Sometimes that isn’t there and we do have the conversation. Either way is great, but it gives clients space to make those empowered decisions for themselves, think for themselves and process it for themselves, and *then* we have the conversation.
Here’s how my communication works for me:
My private clients get unlimited 1:1 access to me. They can message me all day, any day, and I will always respond within 24 hours.
My Flow Mastermind clients also get access to me daily – I check our group chats every single day, Monday through Friday. By the way, if that sounds good to you and you want to unlock 5-figure months with flow, then the Flow Mastermind is enrolling! Come join us, we’d love to have you.
I check both these spaces daily, usually in the morning, so my clients know that if they message me later in the day, they can expect a response by at least midday the next day. My clients love that, respect that and expect that.
You get to set boundaries around when you communicate, how often you communicate and how you communicate.
When it comes to ‘how’, my boundary is that I only communicate with my clients through WhatsApp. I find it’s an easier way to keep all of our conversations together.
Work out a way that works for you and aligns for you, and understand that it’s good to have these boundaries for you and your clients.
- Stay confident when people question your prices or ask for discounts – fully back yourself and trust that there are people who *will* pay what you’re charging.
- Set boundaries around the days and times that you do client calls.
- Set boundaries around when, how often and how you communicate with clients.
These are the 3 biggest client boundaries that I’ve had to navigate and are also super common, but they’re far from the only boundaries out there.
We’ll be going into these boundaries and more in my new workshop, Boundaries Queen!
Boundaries Queen is all about how to set boundaries in your business without feeling like (or sounding like) a b*tch. So if you’re sick of feeling like a b*tch anytime you implement boundaries in your business, you’re going to love this workshop.
It’s all kicking off on 6 July 2021. You get a live workshop and a pop-up Facebook group where you get to hang out with me for an entire week, as well as lifetime access to the workshop. PLUS, there’s a secret bonus gift – so if you want to know what that is, then you’ll have to come and find out!
Here’s a sneak peek at some of the boundaries we’ll be going into. As well as the 3 boundaries we talked about today, we’ll also be looking at how to handle:
- Late payments and failed payments
- Clients that reschedule their calls last minute
- Low-ticket clients want high-level 1:1 support from you
- When past clients reach out in the DMs for coaching or support
- People giving you unsolicited business or money advice
- People that ask to “pick your brain”
- When people want free coaching in the DMs
- Responding when people cold-pitch you in the DMs
- When people copy your content
- Dealing with haters online
- Collaborations that you’re just not interested in
And so so much more!
Even if it’s after 6 July 2021 when you’re reading this, you can still grab the replay of the workshop and get lifetime access.
If you want to learn how to handle boundaries without feeling like a b*tch, then make sure you join us here!
Pick your graphic to pin this post for later! ⤵